From the Desk of Edward J. Slattery, Bishop of Tulsa

Ennobling power of suffering is gift to be shared

I find my joy in the suffering I endure for you. In my own flesh, I fill up what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ for the sake of His body, the Church. (Colossians 1:24)

It was some time ago, perhaps a week has passed now, since I visited a young adult at the home of her parents. She had recently come back to Tulsa because of certain health concerns, and returning home from the coast where she had been living an active, vibrant life gave me an opportunity to see how she was faring.

My friend had been diagnosed with an unusual disease which in itself can be life-threatening; but, as in any disease or infirmity, the physical side of our suffering, all the pain and the fatigue we endure, can be complicated by our preoccupation about the future so that day by day, into the long hours of the night, we wrestle with worries about whether our debts can be managed, our jobs sustained, our children and families kept financially secure and even how we will maintain some sense of independent dignity in a time when we must grow increasingly dependent upon others to provide even for our basic functions.

Discovering something positive in suffering

As I spoke with this young lady, I caught something of her unusual courage and I asked her if she would be interested in using her suffering in a positive way, to help other suffering people by helping to heal victims of abuse, especially victims of clergy abuse. Her eyes lit up at the idea that there could be a positive purpose in her suffering and I explained that there is, but that suffering's meaning and purpose lies hidden, and that few people discover the meaning of suffering because we are so easily distracted by the anxieties of others and our own fear. As we spoke, I explained that it is not easy to uncover this hidden meaning, but when we do uncover it, we also discover that suffering has great power to ennoble us.

I had to admit to her, however, as I do to you now, that it seems like the opposite is true. It seems that suffering can't elevate us or dignify our humanity because what it actually does is to alienate us from the people who love us. Suffering seems to have the power to divide us into two opposite camps, those who suffer and those who don't. And while we try to bridge that division by sharing what we're going through and struggling to communicate where we hurt and what we're feeling, we realize finally that all suffering is unique. My pain is mine alone and in the end we are like helpless children who can do little but whimper.

Every mother and father reading this article in The Eastern Oklahoma Catholic knows what it feels like to have a sick child who cannot tell exactly where or how he hurts. But suffering doesn't have to alienate us from those who love us or isolate us from those with whom we experience life's pleasures.

If we know how, we can find in suffering a way of deeper union with others and ultimately deeper joy! But how do we uncover the positive purpose of suffering and actually discover deeper union with others?

How do we uncover pain's positive purpose?

The answer is found when we join our suffering to the suffering of Christ and make it a kind of gift, something which we offer to God the Father, giving it to Him for the sake of others.

This is what I explained to my friend who had returned home, but when I say I explained it to her, the truth is I think I only helped her articulate what she was already beginning to grasp.

Indeed, one of the humbling aspects of being a bishop, priest or deacon is how often we become aware that we are preaching about holiness to people in our congregations who have already arrived at a great depth of holiness perhaps greater than our own! Sunday after Sunday we invite people to come to Christ through a deeper, truer, more honest repentance; and yet we know, sitting there in the pews in front of us are people who have an ever-deepening sorrow for their past sins and who combine penance and charity to a truly heroic degree in order that they might be more open to God's healing grace.

Others, like this young person, endure various sufferings and because their faith is strong, they begin to glimpse through their suffering and pain that the great Paschal Mystery of Christ is at work in their lives. They see (perhaps sense is the better word) that their suffering is actually a sharing in the redemptive mission of Jesus and the means by which they complete and fulfill the perfect obedience of God's Son.

In our homilies we encourage our people to believe in the light of Christ and to keep faith in His promise, but we know that the truth is that the people sitting listening to us already hold that light in their hearts, feel the Presence of His light in their darkness and maintain hope and inner strength even in the confusion of their pain.

An invitation to join our Confraternity

And thus it was with the friend with whom I visited. She had already begun to long for and search for new meaning in her life and was overjoyed to discover that it could be found in the fact that she was suffering with Christ and could give that suffering to the Father to help heal those who have been abused. This is the purpose of our new Confraternity of the Holy Cross and I invited her to join it.

Now I invite any of you who are suffering to consider joining this Confraternity so that we can bring together into a single spiritual body--called a confraternity--all of us who are in the unique position of being able to make a gift to God the Father of our chronic pain (like arthritis or bipolar disorder), or debilitating diseases (like MS or fibromyalgia), and even our life-threatening diseases (like leukemia, polio, HIV, or Gulf War Syndrome), and we will consecrate our suffering to Christ Crucified, and find inner strength and hope from praying in union with the whole Church and in union with our brothers and sisters in this Confraternity.

What will membership in the Confraternity of Holy Cross require? First of all, deep faith in Christ and a love for the Church that can express itself in practical and realistic ways. Then, I suppose, we need people who have loving hearts and generous spirits especially if those hearts and spirits are imprisoned in a weakened, failing body. What else? Well, a willingness to pray and the desire to discover new hope and new healing in and through our suffering.

Will there be dues to pay? No. And no regular meetings to attend either.

But since the heart of this Confraternity is to turn our suffering into prayer, I would like to require the members of the Confraternity to pray each day a special "Morning Offering" by which they can renew their initial consecration and in the evening a special prayer of joyful surrender. We will want to celebrate Mass together, certainly on feasts like the Exaltation of the Holy Cross in September, but perhaps we can join together for common prayer on other feasts as well, like Good Friday or Corpus Christi. These would be occasions when we could make our presence felt and encourage one another to greater perseverance.

I will try to communicate with you individually by letters and, of course, by articles here in the EOC. But I need your names.

If you have not already given your name to your pastor or spoken with him about joining this Confraternity, then perhaps you could write me directly, asking for more information on how this Confraternity of the Holy Cross will function. I will be happy to write back to you and answer any questions you have. Just address your letters to me at Most Rev. Edward J. Slattery, Bishop of Tulsa, P O Box 690240, Tulsa OK 74169-0240.